


Doing alright

by 24ismynumber



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dead Lancelot but he's still in here kinda, Exhaustion, F/M, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, No but really how, Protective Merlin, Sick Gaius, Slow Burn, Someone teach me what else to put here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:54:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28179447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/24ismynumber/pseuds/24ismynumber
Summary: So basically Merlin overworks himself again but he can't take a break bc Arthur broke his leg and Gauis is ill. So while being a manservant and monitoring Arthus his leg he also is the court physician and he has to protect the kingdom from enemies.I am really bad at writing summaries so yea.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 48





	1. But history says a fool is he who follows not the footsteps of his calling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay hi so this is a trainwreck but that's fine I guess because its 2020 and this whole year is a trainwreck. Please don't get your expectations up because this is literally the first time I have ever written something that isn't school related. English isn't also my first language so yea if there are spelling errors or grammar or stuff like that please don't be afraid to leave a comment. I'm writing this because it had been on my to-do list for literally years but I've never had the gut to do it. With every chapter, there's going to be a song that's probably not gonna be very relevant to the story but comes from the playlist I listen to when I'm overworked and stressed and I thought that would be kinda relevant since ill be putting Merlin here through the same thing, but much worse (poor Merlin). 
> 
> So here's the song for this chapter. It's called Slippery Road by Ryan Montbleau and the chapter title comes from it. His music and I really recommend you give it a try. 
> 
> Edit: I added paragraphs so that it easier to read. Thanks to all the people who pointed it out to me!
> 
> The fic title comes from Doing Alright by Queen. Again pleeeeaaase listen to it is too good for this world.

“To say that the last few days had been hard, was an understatement,” thought Merlin as he left Gaius’s bedside to go start preparing the medicine he had to drop off on his rounds. 

Gaius had fallen ill around a week ago, and though it was clear the man would make a full recovery, he still was bedridden and running a constant low fever. 6 days ago the man had been still asleep when Merlin left for work and Merlin hadn’t been able to wake his mentor up when he tried. It had been touch and go for a little while, but with Arthur gone off to visit some nobleman with the knights, Merlin had spent his time making sure his mentor would recover and taking over the role of court physician. 

Merlin quietly started to chop up thyme to cure a kitchenmaid’s aching throat when he heard a gentle tap on the door before it opened, revealing Gwen in a beautiful yet rather simple green dress. It was a dress for a queen nonetheless, but it was clear that she was not wearing her official attire. 

“Can I come in?” she asked as she slowly pushed the rest of the door open all the way.

“Of course your majesty” Merlin answered with a small smile and a slight undertone of sarcasm in his tone. 

Gwen smiled back and gave Merlin a small push with her shoulder “I swear if you call me that one more time I will order you in the stokes. You know I have that power now right”. 

Merlin laughed and closed the door behind Gwen to keep the warmth in. “So how is Gaius doing?” she asked Merlin while glancing over to the bed where Gaius was sleeping on the other side of the room.  
“Doing better, he woke up long enough this morning to eat some stew and lecture me on not putting his books away properly. Even gave me his infamous eyebrow glare this morning. How he gets worked up about his books is really scary sometimes.” He said while taking a seat at the table. 

Gwen gave a small laugh through her nose and followed Merlin to the table and started finishing chopping up the thyme Merling was cutting earlier.  
“Good to hear he is recovering, but how are you doing, you look a bit tired. You’re not coming down with the same thing he is, are you?” Gwen asked with worry in her voice. 

“No I’m fine, just a bit tired. Never knew being a physician was so exhausting. I’ve also not been sleeping that well” He said while looking at a few blankets that lay on the ground next to Gaius’s cot.

Gwen followed Merlin’s eyes and started back at Merlin with concern and a spark of anger in her eyes when she put the pieces together. 

“You better not tell me you’ve been sleeping on the floor Merlin, you need your rest just as much as any other person,” she said with a flint of fire in her voice while still keeping her voice down as not to wake Gaius. 

“I know, I know, but I don’t want him to wake during the night and try to get water on his own and stumble or something, and anyway he’s getting better so I think I’ll just put a bell next to his bed so that he can wake me when he needs me. That way I can actually sleep in my own bed.”. 

Gwen nods in satisfaction and goes back to chopping the thyme absentmindedly. “How are you yourself doing Gwen, you seem a bit lost in thought.” asked Merlin, this time it was his voice that was laced with concern. 

“Nothing special really, it’s just that Arthur and the knights are a few hours late. I was expecting them to arrive this morning but it’s almost 3 o’clock already. I know I probably shouldn’t worry since it’s just a few hours but I can’t really help it.” she said. 

“I know how you feel, I’m also feeling a bit restless because of it, but I’m sure it’s fine. And look at the bright side. it gives us more time to catch up with each other without the prat chasing me and threatening to throw me in the dungeons for no reason.” Merlin added with a smile. 

Gwen was just about to respond when the court bell began ringing. Merlin and Gwen looked at each other in alarm and stood up to hurry to the courtyard. When they arrived they saw all knights looking exhausted and jumping off of their horses, but the knights were not the topic of interest. Most people looked at the cart that was polled by Leon’s horse. Within the cart, a tired and in pain king Arthur sat with his left leg out. Both Merlin and Gwen ran out, though obviously, Gwen couldn’t run full out in front of her people. Merlin arrived first and asked Arthur out of breath what happened. 

“The princess stumbled over a branch and messed up his leg” Gwaine helpfully provided.  
“We’re not sure if it’s broken or just sprained but he can’t walk on it and it's bruised quite badly,” Leon added while holding the reigns of his and Arthurs horses. 

“Is Gaius better and able to look at my leg?” Arthur asked, the pain obvious in his voice, even though he tried to hide it.

“Afraid not, your gonna have to do with me. Elyan, Percival, can you get the stretcher from Gaius’s chamber? I’ll go with you to get my supplies, I’ll look at your leg in your chambers since the patient cot is already taken and your bed is more comfortable anyway” Merlin said as he turned to follow Percival and Elyan. 

“You really just couldn’t stay out of trouble without me, could you?” Merlin said while he carefully took Arthur’s boot off. Getting him into his chambers turned out the be quite the hassle because of the stairs, but in the end, they got him there in one piece. 

“Haha really funny Merlin,” Arthur said while gripping his bedsheets in pain. Finally, the boot came off and both Merlin and Arthur signed in relief. 

“I’m sorry Arthur but this is gonna hurt a bit. If you want to take a break, you can always say so.” Merlin said with slight guilt in his voice. 

Merlin took Arthurs leg in his hand. Carefully he tried to feel if there were any breaks. Luckily, the bones didn’t seem out of place, but he did feel a slight give when we pushed into a part of the lower leg. Arthur hissed and scrunched his eyes up in pain. 

“Sorry. I think it’s broken.” Merlin said as he crossed the room and took a pitcher with wine and gave Arthur a cup. “This might help a bit with the pain. I’m gonna have to splint it and bind it. Thank god it doesn’t need to be set, that would be hell for both of us” Merlin said as he took a roll of linen bandages out of his supply bag and went to the door to ask the guard for milk and water.

A few minutes later the milk and water arrived together with Gwen who had gone to the physician chambers to get Merlin’s splint branches and a piece of felt and thin cords. Merlin cleaned the leg off with water and then dried it. Then he soaked the linen in the milk and wrapped it around Arthur’s lower leg. Then he wrapped the felt piece over the linen and put small splint branches over the felt and weaved 3 cords through the breaches. Then he weaved a small wooden hollowed out tube through the sticks to keep the cords in place. After that, he wrapped another layer of linen bandages over it all and stood op.

“There you go, all set. How does it feel, in how much pain are you? “ He asked Arthur. Arthur looked up and was pale as a sheet. 

“I think I might be sick,” he said as his pale complexion suddenly turned a bit green. Gwen dove for a cleaning bucket that conventionally had been laying about and held it under Arthur’s nose. Just in time, it seemed since he immediately threw up his last meal. Merlin filled a cup with water and gave it to Arthur when he was done. Arthur moaned miserably and Gwen patted his back in sympathy. 

“So how long do you think he’ll have to stay in bed?” she asked looking over to Merlin who was packing up his supplies.

“Although it’s a painful break, it's a clean one and I think he should only stay in bed for around 2 weeks, after that, maybe he can start to walk around on crutches.” he looked around the room and the mess it was in “But till then, you need to stay in bed.” He said to Arthur.

“I’m going to check on Gaius and make my rounds but I will be back as soon as I can.” He said while slinging his bag over his shoulders. 

“Leave it to my idiot manservant to chicken out when I’m unable to throw anything to his head.” Arthur mockingly said while Merlin walked out of the room.

When Merlin finally arrived home he quietly closed the door and walked over to his mentor. When he laid his hands on his forehead he signed in relief. Gaius’s temperature was almost normal now, yet his mentor was not awake. Merlin looked around slightly disappointed, he had hoped his mentor would be awake, but it seemed he wasn’t in luck. Merlin picked up a water basin and wetted a cloth in the water to cool his mentor’s forehead. After he put it there his mentor slowly started to wake up.

“Hey Gaius, are you okay? How do you feel? Do you need some water?” Gaius looked up at Merlin still half asleep and tried to make sense of the situation. 

“Water, please. What happened, how long was I out for this time?” he asked when he had finally fully woken up.

“Just a few hours but your fever has gone down quite a bit.” Merlin gave the cup to his mentor and sat down beside him and tried to hide a yawn. “

Why is your supply bag by the door?” the old man said while raising his iconic eyebrow questioning. 

“Arthur managed to break his leg. I leave the prat alone for one week and he manages to fall over a branch. And they say I’m clumsy” Merlin said while looking outside of the window. 

“you tended to it?” “yes, it wasn’t anything bad. I didn’t even have to set it.” Merlin said while again, trying to hide a yawn.  
To be honest with himself, he was getting really tired. All week long he had tended to Gaius and getting only around 3 hours of sleep a night. Tending to Gaius had been hard, but now he had to take care of Arthur as well and he still had to act as court physician since Gaius still wasn’t well enough to start working yet. 

“You probably need to eat something,” Merlin said while picking up a bit of bread from a plate of food that someone must have brought up while Merlin was tending Arthur his leg. 

“Here try this” he threw Gaius the bread, which Gaius caught.

“Merlin, why don’t you sit down and eat something for yourself, you look exhausted,” Gaius said.

“I’m sorry but I can’t, I still need to do my rounds and check on Arthur.” he said while packing up all the vials he needed and walked out of the physician chambers. 

It took him around 15 minutes to do his rounds, which normally took around half an hour. But that was only because he ran to all the chambers and didn’t stay to talk like he usually did. After that, he went to the kitchens to grab lunch for Arthur and Gwen.

“And how is our cripple doing this day.” Merlin said while he kicked open the door.

“Shut up Merlin.” Arthur said in his typical prat king voice. Merlin gave him a small smile and started cleaning up the mess that was Arthur’s room. 

“Thank you for lunch Merlin.” Gwen said while trying to stand up to help Merlin, “Gwen, please you don’t have to help, it’s my job. You must be hungry as well and if you’ll help your lunch will get cold” 

“He’s right, please sit down Guinevere.” Arthur added. 

Gwen set back down again but watched Merlin with hawkeyes while he worked and they talked about the journey. After Merlin was done and tried to leave the room Arthur stopped him. 

“Merlin I need you to clean my boots and armour now that you finished cleaning the room. Can you also tell Agravaine that Gwen will lead the meeting for tomorrow and also can you clean the stables? Make sure to give the horses a treat, they worked hard these few days.” 

“yea they are not the only ones who worked hard” Merlin thought. He turned his head and said: “whatever you want clotpole.” This was going to be a long day Merlin decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo that was officially my very first fanfic chapter every. aaaaaaah
> 
> I'm gonna try to update soon, probably tomorrow or the day after that, it kinda depends on if my ADHD meds refilled on time to be productive. 
> 
> Here are some fun tidbits. The way Merlin splinted Arthur's leg actually is kinda historical accurate. Here's my source: https://exarc.net/issue-2016-2/int/broken-leg-year-1350-treatment-and-prognosis 
> 
> also, that part where Arthur threw up while getting splinted kinda happened to me and its actually a kinda funny story. I was getting a cast for my broken wrist and I threw up for no reason. According to my dad, I first turned white as a sheet, then yellow and then green. I threw up all over the poor doctor that was casting my wrist and I still feel lowkey guilty about it. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed it and please leave comments and feedback. That would be awesome. 
> 
> Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


	2. Slow down, you crazy child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo second chapter! I still can't really believe that I'm doing this and being productive and everything. Look at me being all creative and everything!
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO LEFT KUDOS AND COMMENTS YALL ARE AMAZING!  
> I'm really overwhelmed by all the help and supportive feedback I've been getting and I'm really thankful. 
> 
> Also also holy shit people actually read this shit I'm so happy I can't. 
> 
> Okay to business. I realised that I lowkey forgot to tell yall when this story sets. It's a slight AU bc Gwen is queen and Agravaine is still not uncovered as a spy. Lancelot is already dead though :( 
> 
> the title comes from Vienna by Billy Joel. Most of you probably already know the song but please give it a listen if you want. It's amazing and has helped me through numerous cry sessions. 
> 
> Ok I'll shut up now. Enjoy!

Since it was still not that late when Merlin left, he decided he would try to procrastinate telling Agravaine the news. Usually, around this time, the Knights were training so the armoury would be a nice empty place to sit down and get something resembling rest while he worked on repairing Arthur’s armour. He could visit Agravaine after that and the traitorous lord would still have enough time to spread the news of Gwen leading tomorrows council, to the other council members. Having a course of action in mind, Merlin set course to the armoury. 

The armoury was indeed empty and Merlin easily fell into the notion of fixing and polishing the armour. Merlin doesn’t know how Arthur managed to do it, but the armour was more dented because of the fall than it usually came out of battle. It was a miracle that the king hadn’t damaged his ribs. Merlin fell into his work and when he finally looked up from the chest plate he was holding, he realized it had taken longer than he thought. The sun was well into its descent which would mean that he only had about 2 hours until he had to bring Arthur his dinner. He quickly stood up and put the shiny armour away and he started to make his way to Agravaine his chambers. 

Even though the weather was nice out, it always seemed chilly in the part of the castle where Agravaine’s chambers were. Quietly Merlin knocked on the door and quietly hoped that the man would not be present. 

“Oh, Merlin. What have you come here to do? Shouldn’t you be attending to Arthur?” Agravaine said while he pushed open the door fully. 

“Yes my lord, I’m here because Arthur wants me to tell you that the council meeting tomorrow will be led by Queen Guinevere on his behalf, now that he’s restricted to his bed,” Merlin said while trying to peek into Agravaine’s chamber to look for anything suspicious. 

“Queen Guinevere? I wasn’t aware she was capable of leading a council meeting. I suppose it does make sense, seeing as she can read and write.” He shrugged while looking at Merlin with a suspicious glee in his eyes. “Now if that is all, I would like to go back to my reading. Give the king my best wishes” 

Agravaine slammed the door closed and Merlin sighed in relief. “That wasn’t so bad,” he thought to himself. It was clear Agravaine was hiding something, he was way too happy about Arthur's injury. But there didn’t seem to be an immediate threat. He would be sure to keep a close eye on him though. 

Merlin turned around to walk away when his vision blacked out for a moment and a shiver ran down his spine. He was beginning to feel a bit shaky. Now that he thought about it, he realized he hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday's breakfast. He shrugged the thought of food off, he had gone way longer without anyways, and there was still too much to do. 

As he made his way to the stables he literally ran into Gwaine. “Woa mate, you gotta be careful I could’ve knocked you down accidentally,” Gwaine said while he held Merlin by his shoulders and looked him over to see if he was unharmed. 

Merlin by this point, was swaying a bit, feeling more and more nauseous by the second.

“Sorry, I’ll try to look out better next time,” Merlin said. 

“Mate are you alright, you look pale as a ghost,” Gwaine said while steadying Merlin.

“I’m alright, just in a hurry and a bit tired.” He said, now finally managing to stop the world from spinning. 

“If you say so. Please try to get some rest. We don’t want you to join to kneel over.” He said, finally releasing his grip on Merlin's shoulders. 

“I’ll try. Gotta go, bye” Merlin said, now on his way again. 

He hurried to the stables and managed to steal half of an apple from the horses. Then he fed the horses and replaced the hay. Before he left, he made sure that all the horses were properly brushed and had been taken care of by the stable hands. It was their job to clean the stables really, but Arthur just gave him the chore to annoy him and so the stable hands left it to him. 

When he was finally finished he realised he was late for Arthur’s dinner. He ran to the physician’s tower to change into clean clothes and did a quick check on his mentor who was reading a book in his bed. When Merlin came rushing in Gaius knew that his ward was running late. 

“I’m alright, a kitchen hand kindly delivered me my food, go shush before Arthur will have your head.” Gaius said as he gently herded his ward out of the room. 

Merlin ended up only being 15 minutes or so late, but Arthur being Arthur and incapable of getting out of bed, was getting restless. 

“There you are. Took you for bloody ever to get here.” He said when Merlin walked in with dinner. 

Gwen was quietly sitting at the desk writing and looking worried. Merlin walked over to Arthur and gave him the plaid with food. “Where is Gwen her food?” Arthur asked not very kindly. 

“I thought someone else would have brought it up by now, but I’ll run down to get it.” he said while dodging an empty cup that Arthur had thrown at his head. 

Merlin shot him a smile and then began to jog down to the kitchens. On his way, he had to stop twice to catch his breath and to make sure he wouldn’t throw up the meagre contents of his stomach. He was now getting these weird cold sweats and the shivering wouldn’t stop. Quietly he sneaked into a small notch in the wall and whispered the words of the old religion, hoping the spell would mask some of his symptoms. His healing magic wasn’t that good, but he had been trying to spend extra time learning them before Gaius fell ill.

Upon finishing the spell, his eyes glowed and he felt the shivers reducing before completely disappearing. The cold sweat also thankfully stopped and Merlin continued his way to the kitchens. 

When he came back to the royal chambers he heard Gwen and Arthur quietly talk.  
“Arthur, are you sure we shouldn’t just move the council meeting to next week or ask Agravaine to lead it. I’m not sure I’m the right person to lead the council.” Gwen said. It was obvious that she was nervous for the next day. There was a small amount of panic in her voice. 

“Guinevere, I’ll promise you, you're going to be fantastic up there. You’re going to be yourself and make the right decisions. And if you get lost halfway, just say that you’ll have to run it by me first. It’s okay to be nervous, I was too at my first meeting, but you’re gonna do brilliantly. You’ve been reading all the reports and you know more about the current situation than most people there anyway. They’ll listen to you, I’m sure” Arthur said with confidence and his voice full of pride. 

“Thank you, Arthur.” she said timidly but clear. 

Merlin decided that the couple had had their moment of privacy and walked in the room. “Got your dinner Gwen!” he said overly happy to brighten up her mood. 

“Thank you Merlin.” she said with a small smile. She took the plate and moved to sit at the table, facing her husband. 

As the couple ate, Merlin started to clean the room and close the curtains. It would keep the night chill out. Then he moved over to the fire and started polishing Arthur's boots while he tried to get the chill out of his bones. While the masking spell had worked, he was still not feeling his best self. 

By the time he had finished Guinevere had taken her place next to the king while holding up a needle and a piece of fabric. Since becoming queen she had started picking up some old hobbies she had before she started working full-time as a maid. Embroidery was one of them. She knew many queens did it and viewed it as duty or work, but she found it oddly relaxing. She looked up from her work to see that Merlin was checking Arthur’s leg. 

“How is his leg doing?” she asked Merlin. 

“Still healing nicely as it should. How does it feel Arthur?” Merlin asked

Arthur shrugged and sat upright. “Still a bit painful, but much better than yesterday. The thing is, I'm bored out of my mind already. Are you sure I have to stay in bed for 2 weeks?”

Merlin smiled at him sadly “Afraid so, there isn’t anything I can do about it. Let’s just hope you don’t get fat from all that sitting around in the meantime.”

Arthur looked at him in fake anger and turned to his wife.  
“Guinevere, can I borrow your cup?” Arthur asked his wife nicely. 

Gwen didn’t even bother to look up from her work and handed her husband the cup. Arthur, of course, threw the cup and Merlin managed to dodge it by just a few centimetres. 

Merlin shot Arthur a grin and looked around the room for something else to do. He really didn’t want to leave the warm room, and as much of a dollophead Arthur was, the royal couple was good company. However, he did still need to take care of Gaius and he still had to prepare the medicine for his rounds tomorrow, which would take a few hours. 

“Is there anything I can do before I leave?”

“No” said Gwen before her husband had gotten the chance to say something else. “You look dead on your feet. Go home and get some rest. You deserve it.”

Although Merlin really appreciated her offer, he knew rest wasn’t something he would be getting soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh it's only getting worse for poor Merlin. It will get better I promise.  
> Just not in this chapter. Or the next.. ok I'll stop giving spoilers now. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this story and please leave feedback on what I can do better. I'm still very new to this and the feedback from the last chapter helped me a great deal. 
> 
> I don't know when I'll update again since I took over some shifts at my workplace. I'll try to have it up somewhere this week, but I can't promise anything.   
> also, can someone tell me how you can delete the bottom note from the last chapter so that it doesn't appear under this chapter? because I have no idea. 
> 
> Byeee


	3. It's been a hard day's night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can someone please tell me how people come up with good titles? Cause I'm struggling and they are progressively getting worse.
> 
> Also again THANK YOU FOR ALL THE KUDOS AND COMMENTS. You guys are amazing.
> 
> The title comes from A hard days night by the Beatles
> 
> I'll shut up now.
> 
> Enjoy!

After Merlin was relieved of his duties as a manservant, he still had his duties as court physician to attend to. He walked to the physician’s chambers, hoping Gaius was feeling better. When he finally pushed open the door of the place that he considered home, he was pleasantly surprised by the smell of peppermint. Upon walking in the room, he discovered Gaius who was brewing a tea from it.

“Gaius! What are you doing out of bed?” Merlin said while rushing to his mentor, ready to guide the man back to his bed. 

“Doing my job, just like I usually do. You shouldn't worry so much about me. My fever broke a few hours before dinner. I slept most of the day, and now I’m feeling like my old self again.” Gaius said while looking briefly to Merlin, not noticing the state of the young man he loved like a son.

“It’s good to hear Gaius, but I still think you should rest a bit more. You are getting a bit older, and It is getting quite late.”

“You’re right, but this still needs to be finished for when I do my rounds tomorrow. And yes, Merlin I am going to do my rounds tomorrow.” the old physician said when he saw that Merlin was about to protest. 

Merlin signed and sat down on the bench, looking at his mentor with weariness and worry in his eyes. 

“Still, Gaius, you should go to sleep. I can finish these easily. If you stay up late, you might be too tired to do the rounds tomorrow.” 

Gaius knew Merlin was right and he turned away from the fire to look properly at his ward for the first time since the man had come in. 

“Merlin, have you eaten dinner yet. I have seen corpses with more colour than you.” 

Merlin looked to the ground. He hated being the cause for the worries in his mentor’s voice, but since arriving in Camelot all those years ago, it seems as if the worry was almost permanent. 

“I’ll take that as a no then. I only have some meat and bread left. You need to eat that and then go to the kitchens to see if there are any leftovers.” He said while getting the leftover bread and meat from the table near the bed. 

“Thank you, Gaius.” Merlin said while taking the plate from his mentor and gratefully eating the cold meat and the bread.

After a bit more arguing about who was going to finish the medicine for next day's rounds, Merlin won and soon after Gaius was vast asleep. A testament to how tired the man had been. 

Merlin worked on the medicine for about 3 hours until he too fell asleep. Luckily, he had almost been done with preparing the medicine. So when he woke up about 2 hours later with back pain from the uncomfortable bench, he trusted that his mentor would be able to finish the remedies in time for his rounds. 

Merlin quietly stood up from the bench to go and wake Arthur and Gwen when the whole world suddenly went white before his eyes. His heart started racing and he felt extremely dizzy. He clenched the table until his knuckles turned white just to keep him standing. Somehow, he felt even worse than yesterday.

After a few minutes, the feeling slowly passed and he finally trusted himself enough to stay upright. Finally, he figured out why he felt worse than the night before. The spell he used to mask his tiredness must have worn off. Quickly Merlin cast it again and sped out of the room.

“Rise and shine!” Merlin said while drawing back the curtains of the royal chambers. Arthur groaned and put a pillow over his head. Gwen on the other hand woke up peacefully and with a smile on her face. 

“Morning Merlin. What’s for breakfast?”

“I think Aide is actually on her way from the kitchen with breakfast for you two.”

Aiden being Gwen’s servant, who had been hired after Sefa. Gwen had been hesitant towards the girl, still not fully trusting her servants after Sefa’s betrayal. “I’m actually here to prepare Arthur for the day and of course, prepare the papers for the council meeting today.” He said while walking over to the closet to get comfortable clothes for Arthur. “but before I do so, Arthur, I need to take a look at your leg.”

Arthur finally got the pillow off his head and looked at Merlin in fake anger. “If it hurts, I’m gonna throw you in the stocks.”

“Sure thing dollophead” Merlin mockingly answered while examining Arthur’s leg and the splints around it. “It looks to be healing alright, but the bandages need changing. I’ll leave that to Gaius since he’ll probably want to have a look at the leg himself”

“Is Gaius fully healed?” Gwen asked, obviously pleasantly surprised.

“Yes, luckily, though I’m not very happy with him working again. But you know how he is, Stubborn as can be” 

The door opened and Aide came in two plates of food that she placed on the table. She was almost done making said table when she realized that Arthur couldn’t eat at the table because of his leg. She began correcting her mistake when Arthur stopped her. 

΅It’s alright Aide, I’ve been stuck in bed for only a day and I’m already done with it. Merlin help me get to the table.”

“Arthur, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Gwen with worry in her voice.

“It’s alright, I need to change the bed anyway, so he would have to get out at some point today” Merlin assured her. He moved to Arthur’s side of the bed and threw his arm over his shoulders to help him get up. Once Arthur was upright Merlin half supported / half carried him to the table, his whole frame shaking under the weight. Normally, Merlin would be able to support Arthur further than this before his body would begin to shake under the weight, but Merlin guessed it was probably due to his exhaustion. Merlin knew that Arthur had noticed the shaking too, and he was all too grateful that Arthur didn't comment on it. 

Once he was seated Merlin quietly moved away and got some fresh sheets from a closet and started making the bed. Cold sweat rolled down his forehead and Merlin tried to wipe it away without anyone noticing.

While Gwen and Arthur were eating and speaking about the council Merlin started cleaning up the room with Aide. 

“Merlin are you alright?” Aide whispered so that only Merlin would hear it. 

“Just tired is all” he whispered back. 

Merlin and Aide finished cleaning the room and Merlin moved to the desk to collect and order the papers Gwen would need during the council while Aide helped Gwen get dressed in the Queen’s Chambers. 

“Merlin, I’d like you to be present during the council meeting. If anything happens, I want you to protect Guinevere and support her.” Arthur suddenly said in a serious tone.

Merlin stopped his sorting and looked up to Arthur. He knew that the task meant a lot more than just “report back and stand there doing nothing.”. It meant: “I trust you to protect Guinevere with your life and protect her when I’m not able to”. Merlin knew that Gwen didn’t need protection during the council meeting, but that really wasn’t what Arthur was asking.

The two looked at each other for a moment. “Yes, sire.” Merlin said, not knowing exactly how to answer an important question like that. 

An awkward silence followed until Gwen came back into the room, breaking the awkward silence. 

“Merlin, I'd like to go through the papers one more time before council. Are you done with sorting them?”

“Yea I’m all finished. Do you want to go over them together? Maybe Arthur can join in too so that the Royal ass at least kinda knows what’s going on in the kingdom.”

“I heard that Merlin!” 

After Merlin finished attending to Arthur and Gwen, he still had about two hours before the council meeting and he made his way to the great hall to help other servants prepare the room for the meeting. Just as he was walking to the hall, he looked out to the courtyard and saw Agravain stepping off his horse and handing it to a stablehand. Merlin knew Agravaine had no reason to leave the castle and Merlin changed his course to the courtyard.

Suddenly his vision blurred out and he was forced to stop and lean against a wall.

“Woah mate, are you alright?” A voice said. Merlin heard the voice but he couldn't process the words. “Merlin, what's wrong?” The voice said, now closer. Two hands gently grabbed his shoulders and guided him to the floor. “Merlin, talk to me, what’s wrong?” the now slightly panicked voice said. Finally Merlin’s vision returned and Gwaine’s face became clear. 

“What happened?” Merlin asked wondering how Gwaine just appeared out of nowhere. 

“You tell me, I saw you standing here leaning against the wall and you weren’t responding. We need to get you to Gaius.”

“No, I can't.” Merlin said while weakly trying to stand up again. 

“Why? What’s going on?” Gwaine asked, helping Merlin stand up. 

“I need to help Gwen get ready for the council meeting. I promised Arthur I’d be there.” 

“Merlin, stop. You can’t even stand on your own. You need Gaius. Something is wrong and you need help.” 

Gwaine threw Merlin's arm around his shoulder and started guiding him towards the physicians tower trying to ignore the strange looks they got on their way. 

Once Merlin realized where they were headed, he started to struggle against Gwaine’s grip on him. 

“Merlin calm down, we’re almost there.” Gwaine said as he pushed open the door to the Gaius’ tower, only to reveal an empty room. Gwaine cursed under his breath and guided Merlin to the bed. 

Merlin, who was extremely confused and didn’t understand what was happening, forgot that it was Gwaine who was holding him. Merlin started whispering a spell, and before he realized what was happening, his eyes glowed golden, and Gwaine fell unconscious to the ground. Merlin, still extremely confused, stumbled out the door and to the stables. Meanwhile a wound on Gwaine’s head was sluggishly bleeding on the floor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok sooooooo guess this is a hurt!Gwaine fic now..   
> Lol. Don't worry all hurt merlin fans though. He'll stay the main character. 
> 
> I don't know for sure when I'll update with all the Christmas chaos and such but I'll try to do it this week.
> 
> Everything is slowly coming to an end so I think this fic will probably have 2 or 3 more chapters. 
> 
> As always pls leave feedback and stuff 
> 
> Merry crisses everyone!!!


	4. You need a little light to guide the way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyo!
> 
> Sorry, that's its been so long. Chrismas and New years have been crazy and I've had to do a lot of stuff for school and shit.  
> Also THANK YOU FOR THE COMMENTS! I'm really awkward so I don't always react to them bc I don't wanna sound like a broken record and say thank you all the time or say something stupid but I really appreciate your comments! You are all amazing!
> 
> Anyway, here I am writing notes for a chapter that I wrote like 4 days ago and just edited kinda. I hope yall enjoy it. 
> 
> The title is from Head Held High by Kodaline. It's a really feel-good song if you're stressed out.  
> ps. I said this a few chapters ago but in this story, Lancelot is already dead so yea.  
> I'll shut up now,  
> Enjoy!

Merlin fought with his own mind to try to make out a course of action, but the only thing that was clear to him was that he had to go to stables to stop Agravaine. Why? He didn't know. How? He also didn't know. But he knew that he had to do it. He also knew that he had to be back in an hour and a half for the council meeting. That is why when he arrived at the stables he was not very happy to see that Agravaine was not there. Just horses and on a fence next to the entrance a raven with a note to its paw. 

"That shouldn't be there," Merlin thought. It now was the only thing he could focus on. His magic called for him to go to the raven and read the note and now that Merlin’s brain was abandoning him, he fully let his magic guide him. He got the note and in the cursive handwriting that was obviously Morgana's, the note said:

"When all is turned to stone, meet me immediately at the Valley of the Fallen Kings." 

A mantra of Valley of the Fallen Kings started to play in Merlin's head, even though he wasn't able to read the note because of his unfocused eyes. He took the only already saddled horse out of stables and using his magic asked it to bring him to the Valley of the Fallen Kings. He then led it outside and climbed it, the horse reading itself to the city gates while Merlin was trying to stay upright in the saddle. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

To say that Gaius was surprised to find Gwaine bleeding on his floor was an understatement. Sure, it hadn't been the first time knightly blood had touched these floors, but usually, the knight in question would be surrounded by other knights and not lying unconscious on the floor. Gaius knelt down by Gwaine and gently tried to wake him up. When Gwaine gave a small groan but didn't fully wake up, Gaius picked up a cloth and pressed it on the knight's wound to try to stop it from leaking blood. The pain slowly woke Gwaine up and he groaned in pain.

"Gwaine, care to tell me how you ended up on the floor with an open head wound?" Gaius asked Gwaine as if the situation was ordinary. Gwaine tried to open his eyes but found it harder to do than it should. He wanted to fall back asleep again, but something told him that there was no time for rest. Not yet at least. Gwaine searched his foggy mind for a reason for this unexplainable rush. His mind didn’t seem to be able to respond until it did. 

Gwaine opened his eyes in panic when he remembered: "We need to find Merlin."

“What do you mean? What happened? Isn’t he supposed to be at the council meeting?” 

Gwaine shook his head and tried to sit up. Gaius however, gently pushed him back in the bed. 

“You need to stay in bed, you took quite a blow. It wouldn't surprise me if you have a concussion.” Gaius signed and seemed to prepare himself for bad news. “Now tell me, what is wrong with Merlin?”

Gwaine tried again to sit upright, but slower now. Gaius looked at him sceptically but seemed to allow it. “I am not sure, but I found him in the halls looking unstable, and when I asked him if he was okay, he didn’t answer. And then he started talking about having to go to the council meeting and he refused to go so I half carried half dragged him here and then it was like something pushed me and after that everything is black.”

Gaius signed. “Do you know if there was anyone else in the room who could have pushed you or caused you to fall?” 

“No, I would have noticed. There was no one except me and Merlin. I think he might have been the one that pushed me, but he was so out of it, I wonder where he got the strength from. No matter anyway, he’s in danger and we need to find him.” Again Gwaine started to get out of the cot and Gaius pushed him back. 

“I’ll go to the council meeting and see if he’s there, though I doubt it since it’s still not for some time. I’ll check the queen's chambers too. Meanwhile, I need you to get as much sleep as you can. I don’t think you're concussed since you're still able to talk and stay awake, but you need to take as much rest as you can.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morgana stood alone at an open spot in the Valley of the Kings. Surrounding her laid a few items. In front of her was a wooden table, with on it, a piece of stone and an old magic book and an amulet which the sorceress fished out of the lake of Avalon herself together with the bones of a snake. On the ground next to the table laid a red cloak that had clearly once belonged to a knight of Camelot. In her hand, Morgana held a map op Camelot and a cauldron. She looked around here and put the items in her hand on the table. She looked up at the sky and calculated how long until the meeting would start. She needed every important person to be within the citadel walls. She looked and opened the book on the page which was titled: how to turn people into stone. An evil smile corrupted her features and she began practising the spell. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even among his clouded thoughts and his constant mantra of “Valley of the Fallen Kings” Merlin knew that he was in a bad shape. His vision kept blacking out and he knew that wasn’t a good thing. To say that he was surprised when he felt himself falling off of his horse wasn’t true. He knew it would happen, but the mantra he kept repeating in his head still hadn’t stopped. He knew that he still had to go there and that there was no time to spare. It was all he knew though because before he hit the ground, his thoughts had gone blank. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gaius opened the doors of the great hall, only to find servants cleaning the last things before the meeting. Gaius looked through the familiar faces of the servants, but no name came to mind, until he saw Aide, putting pitchers filled with water on a small table. 

“Aide, have you seen Merlin?” he asked after he walked to her. 

“No, I last saw him this morning in the king’s chambers, but after that, I haven’t seen him. He looked unwell then. Is he alright?” the girl asked with concern in her eyes. 

“We don’t know. He seems to have disappeared. Do you have any idea where he could be?” 

“Maybe he’s with king Arthur?”

“I’ll check. If you find him, can you send for me please?”

“I will. Let me know if there is anything I can do.”

Gaius walked briskly through the castle. If even his colleagues didn’t know where he was, he began to think Merlin might’ve wandered outside the castle. He still had the King’s chamber to check, however, so he tried to keep that thought from his head. He quickly walked up to the doors of the royal chambers. 

“Merlin! you’re late. Guinevere is almost ready for the meeting to start!” Arthur yelled, not having realized that it wasn’t Merlin behind that door. 

“Sire, I assume that means that Merlin isn’t here either?” Gaius said after he entered the room.

“oh, sorry Gaius. I didn’t realize it was you. What’s wrong with Merlin this time?” Arthur said mockingly but with a hint of concern in his voice. 

“Sir Gwaine found him around an hour ago looking unwell and confused. In his confusion, he accidentally seems to have pushed Sir Gwaine against a wall which caused him to lose consciousness. No one has seen Merlin since then. We think he might be in danger. 

“I’m sorry Gaius, I haven’t seen him since breakfast. Is Gwaine alright? 

“Yes, it’s not a bad head wound and I think he should be alright after a few hours of sleep and a few days of rest.”

The door opened quietly and Gwen walked in, looking caught up in thought. 

“Guinevere, have you seen that idiot I call my manservant since breakfast?” Arthur asked, again with concern in his voice.

Gwen looked up and immediately realized something was amiss. “No, what’s wrong?”

“He’s hurt and missing, my Queen” Gaius said, looking at Gwen with fear. “I fear he has wandered out of the castle”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin woke up on the forest ground, his horse not far away from him. Slowly he tried to open his eyes and he was met with more resistance than he was used to. In the end, he managed, but he found that his limbs refused to move more than an inch and that someone must have put weights on his eyelashes since he couldn’t keep them open for more than a few seconds at a time. He foggily tried to make sense of the scene in front of him. His head hurt and he couldn’t see more than a few metres ahead. He reached out to his magic, but even that seemed to fail him. He groaned and wanted to rest his head again when he remembered his task. Go to the Valley of Fallen Kings. Again, with more vigour this time, he tried to stand up, but he only managed to sit up against a tree. 

A figure, surrounded by a thick white fog made its way to Merlin, who only noticed the figure when it was almost directly ahead of him. “What have you gotten yourself in this time, my friend.” The figure asked Merlin, who didn’t seem to process the words. 

“You are dead” he asked, looking up at the figure. “Why are you here?”

“Because you need help, you can’t fulfil destiny in the state that you are in right now. I was sent to help you. Camelot is in grave danger. Morgana is not destined to win today. You need to stop her.” The figure looked at Merlin with a great deal of sadness in his eyes. “You can not rest your head yet, my friend. It pains me to see you like this.”

“Then don’t look.” Merlin pointed his eyes to the ground.

“Please, let me at least help you with your exhaustion Merlin. You need to protect Camelot and you can’t do that in this state.”

Merlin nodded his head and started to close his eyes. Meanwhile, the figure came closer and laid his hand on Merlin’s head. As he did so, trails of gold seemed to come from the air and the ground into the figure’s hand and from it into Merlin. 

Merlin felt energy enter his body and replaced the heaviness that had occupied it before. He still felt tired, but he also felt like he could breathe properly again for the first time in what seemed like forever. The figure removed his hand from Merlin’s head and knelt down to be able to talk to him at eye level.

“I wish I could do more for you, but I can’t. Take care, my friend.” 

Merlin blinked and the figure, together with the fog, had disappeared. 

“Thank you Lancelot.” Merlin whispered up to the sky. 

Merlin stood up and walked over to his horse. He knew his problems were far from solved, but at least he was able to think more clearly.  
~~~~~~~~~~~

15 minutes before the council meeting was supposed to begin did a servant knock on Agravaine’s door with the news that the meeting was cancelled. Anger flooded his senses when he heard the news and he sent the servant away. Morgana needed everyone to be within the wall of the citadel. And to have that done, he needed the council meeting to continue. If Morgana’s spell worked, everyone loyal to Arthur and within the castle walls would turn to stone. His task was to make sure every one of importance would be just there, within the castle walls. A council meeting would do just that. He needed that meeting to continue as planned, otherwise Morgana would have his head. He quickly made his way to the king’s chambers. 

“Sire, why is the meeting cancelled?” He asked once he reached his destination.

“My manservant seems to be missing and since I can’t go with the knights to look, Guinevere insists on joining the search efforts. Therefore, the meeting can’t go on.” 

“But sire, I must ask, why all this for a mere servant? We’ve been preparing this meeting all week and there are urgent matters which will need to be discussed. If we don’t discuss the plans for winter rationing, we might be too late to stock enough food.” The Lord said, trying to act concerned for Camelot. 

“I suppose you're right uncle, but I can’t force Guinevere to stay here. I don’t want to. Merlin is a good friend to both of us.” a short silence fell while the king weighed his options “You have a point, we can’t postpone winter rationing for much longer. Luckily Guinevere wrote down most of her opinion in her notes. I’ll ask Sir Leon to take her place at the council meeting. He can report to me if anything is unclear. That way everyone is satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I just realized that for some of you it's already 2021. Dang, how does that feel like? I'll know in about 10 hours I guess.
> 
> also I didn't know how to end this chapter so I kinda didn't. lol 
> 
> Also question: Is Lancelot really Lancelot or something else? It could be something that just took his form so that Merlin would feel comfortable. He could also just be a hallucination. I'll leave that one up to your interpretation. I've always liked the thought that our lost loved ones are not only just looking after us, put that they protect us too and help us when we're in our deepest lows. 
> 
> Anyway, I'll try to update soon but school is starting in a few days and I'm behind on everything and I gotta work tomorrow and the day after, but I'm gonna try. 
> 
> Also I discovered ~~~~~ today, let me know if you like it.
> 
> Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


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